Rhum Barbancourt - Haiti - A

Haiti's Barbancourt is one of the few challengers, in my view, to the rums of the Spanish-speaking Caribbean basin. It is smooth and syrupy, a wonderful all-around sipper. It can be spicy, with hints of vanilla and ginger, and even a bit citrusy. I have had the bottles aged 4 years, 8 years, and 15 years, and each is a high quality option, though I've neglected the silver variety, the only one really meant for mixing. Most bottles have a higher alcohol content, but I don't find that there's any extra kick. I can't promise you'll find this bottle everywhere, but particularly at upscale stores it's a must. It is also interesting to note that Barbancourt was found in the latter half of the 19th Century, long after the Haitian revolution that eradicated slavery from the country.

10 Cane - Trinidad - B+

There was an unscientific study in a local paper claiming that 10 Cane, as expensive as it is, did not come out on top in taste tests compared to some other common options. If capitalism is in large part about psychology, 10 Cane has gotten to my head. A smooth, tasty rum, overpriced as Hell, some high class bars keep it on stock as their staple. Not my favorite pick for mojitos, or perhaps that was the preparer, but I loved downing an entire bottle with a wealthy friend, and had no problems the next morning.

Sailor Jerry - Transnational - B

Admiral Nelson. Captain Morgan. But Sailor Jerry is my top pick for spiced rums, with a more refined taste, a higher proof, and a dancing lady tattoo in the bottle. Beat that, tourist rums. Admittedly, I’m not a regular, but good for gringos in frats and sororities, beach kids, people at the resort, and still sometimes cheaper than the far more common Captain.

Admiral Nelson - Transnational - C

The cheaper Abbott to Captain Morgan’s Costello, this is what it’s more known rival is, a ‘spiced’ flavored tourist rum. Anything said of Morgan’s can be said of Nelson’s, except that the Admiral can be down to a third the price of the Captain, and that’s not a quality judgment.

Panama Jack - Panama - C

Tourism rum, Panama Jack is not sold in Panama. Well, perhaps in a resort, but never having been to one, I wouldn’t know. An add-on to a brand of sunscreens and beach clothes and equipment, it’s ‘spiced’ flavored like some of your more common tourism rums, most notably Captain Morgan, but it probably has a better taste for what it is.

Palo Viejo - Puerto Rico - B-

Perhaps my favorite bottom shelf rum, and like my other favorites, Puerto Rican. The silver is actually a bit smoother than the gold, though neither tastes very good on its own. Palo is best for parties which no one comes to for class, and mix drinks where you aren’t trying to make the finest glass in town. Don’t pay more than $10 for a fifth, and I’ve gotten that for $9 after tax.

Myers - Jamaica - B

Like Appleton and Mount Gay, an easy to find rum, but with more specific uses. Myers, fine as it is, cannot compete with either on grounds of straight sipping, but is a necessity for any number of mix drinks where almost no other brand will do (though often only one of multiple rums used for simultaneously). You get Myers for the Original Dark, though the newer silver brand adds Myers to the running for even more cocktail recipes. Buttery, dark, and sometimes quite rich, a little Myers adds your options.

Wray & Nephew - Jamaica - A-

This company actually makes some other brands, but the most widely available under this name is Jamaican Overproof, your solution to having to boycott terrorist Bacardi’s 151. At 126 proof, you likely won’t be able to tell that it’s a bit weaker. When I was a teen, I would pour a dram and then be too afraid to down it, actually getting a little drunk off the fumes. But older and wiser, I now know JO can be masked by some fruit juice and get you really fucked up without burning a hole through your throat. Also, there are a wide selection of drinks that call for overproofs, ranging from the Rum Runner to the Malibu Colada, to stronger Daquiris.

Malibu - Barbados - D

Not all tourist rum is spiced. Malibu, the most popular flavored rum, is made by a sunscreen company. But it isn’t a total crime to occasionally possess a bottle, at least for particular mix drink purposes. The original flavor is coconut, but I detected a distinct fishy taste in some of the other flavors, including pineapple and mango. This isn’t so strange if you recall that some beers are processed using fish oils. Rums are not, but is Malibu? In the end, you really don’t need flavored rum in your life anymore than you need leg lamps or tiki bars.

Ron Viejo de Caldas Aged 3 Years - Colombia - A

I was lucky to find this in a random liquor store in a Mexican neighborhood. Seriously, buena suerte. But if you do happen upon it, it’s a fine sipping rum with a great syrupy aroma. Not a high-class rum, but you’ll still want to roll it in the glass and give it some time for the flavors to air out. The brand, born in 1928, is from the Industria Licorera de Caldas, which though it has no para-scandals, is probably, like any other Colombian business, party to investing in death squad murders and harassment of the workforce. But, until we find any evidence, ignorance is bliss.

Cockspur - Barbados - B

A little harsher than it’s more common compatriot, Cockspur is a perfect example of a great, typical rum. It’s sweet and strong, aged like Bourbon (common to a lot of rums), moderately priced (I’ve found it for $12), and works well mixed, neat, or on the rocks. Basically, a good all-around rum, though admittedly with little distinction. In some locales, you will find it just as easy to procure a fine or mid-quality bottle as a cheaper one, and the price difference is only worth it if you can afford it.

Mount Gay - Barbados - B+

Claiming to be the oldest consistently produced rum, Mount Gay’s eclipse brand is also one of the most likely finds at your local bar, liquor store or grocer. And you should be grateful. Objectively, we have a sometimes almost syrupy sweet flavor in this, the least of Mount Gay’s non-flavored rum options. A fine mid-priced choice, Eclipse is as suitable for mix drinks and for smooth sipping, on the rocks or neat. Of Barbados origins, one of several islands claiming the origins of kill-devil, Mount Gay is one of your two best easy-to-finds. Just remember, the flipside of the company’s claim to such a long history is that perhaps half of its existence is steeped in slavery.